In this very special series of exclusive articles for the Property Chronicle, Australian property legend Norman Harker reflects on his extraordinary 50-year life in real estate. He will pull no punches partly because, as he freely admits, Norman has a limited life expectancy of five years from December 2018 due to a diagnosed terminal blood cancer, which he has cheerfully accepted in preference to (in his words) “kicking the bucket without notice”. We are honoured he has chosen us to publish these brilliant, funny and incisive reflections of a lifetime in property.
Chapter 5: My job in ladies’ underwear, and how I almost changed my name…
Now, would I tell you a lie? My first valuation task involved ladies’ underwear.
Sorry to disappoint the prurient among my readers: it wasn’t like what may have gone through your mind on seeing the title to this chapter.
My first valuation?
My immediate supervising valuer, ‘Bob’ Bowden (known as ‘REB’), had a unique set of skills. He was technically competent, an effective negotiator who made friends easily, a good judge of character and abilities – and a great boss. I regard him as my most important mentor.
A few days after I started, I said to Bob that I’d not yet met the boss. At that moment turbo-charged John Ritblat (JHR) ran into the office room we were squeezed into. Bob said to me, “Here he is!” The guy was so young, I thought Bob was taking the proverbial!
I was introduced and JHR went on to tell Bob that we had instructions to value the Dorothy Perkins group properties. They sold ladies underwear. They had previously used another firm, but we had beaten them on fees and time.
JHR said, “We’ll not make anything on this, but who will they look to for sales and leasebacks, disposals, acquisitions and other professional advice?” He then gave us a copy of a previous report. It was one page of badly typed information. Bob, a master of litotes, said, “I think we might do a bit better than this!”
After a few calls…
Bob: “Norman! Can you go down to Bracknell for a week or two and dig out a list of the branches and all the information they have on them?” That was more difficult than it sounds because the new estate manager had inherited a disorganised mess.
First instructions: the existing record system, the branch locations… oops, missed a couple!
Back at the office after two weeks I had boxes of plans, a list, and a corkboard and map stuck with hundreds of coloured pins. It looked very pretty. Well – prettier than me! But it showed where we were going.
Bob: “Norman!” … by then I was thinking of changing my name… “Can you sort into negotiator regions and arrange the inspection? David Palmer [DWGP, the head of department] wants the Channel Islands. You can have Belfast.”
Me: “Thanks! I love the smell of cordite in the morning!”
Bob: “Interpretation of leases. Can you get from the client’s solicitors a synopsis of the important terms on every leasehold property that impact on value? We’ll need reports on the freehold titles as well.”
Me: “That will be easy, getting a solicitor to understand valuation. When I’ve pulled all my hair out, can I get a wig on expenses?”
Bob: “Town planning! Can you organise official local searches on all properties and highlight anything affecting the property?”
Me: “Will it affect value if 20ft is taken off the frontage for road widening?”
Bob: [reply is not printable]
“That will be easy, getting a solicitor to understand valuation,” I said. “When I’ve pulled all my
hair out, can I get a wig on expenses?”
We had to ensure reports were all structured the same.
Bob: “Norman!”… Yes, I would need change my name… “Take this report I’ve done and design an inspection pro forma for all inspections!”
Me: “I’ll dance for the other ha’penny!”
In the professional department we knew how to handle the complexities of the legal interests and the financial calculations, but market rental values and capitalisation rates were known by negotiating and investment departments. Knowledge of and adjusting for the different characters was almost an art form.
Back then we had no RICS Red Book and we had to write our own.
Bob: “We need a preface letter setting out bases of valuation. Can you take the ones I’ve done before and work up a new one?”
Me: “What do we mean by ‘nominal’ and ‘no value’? What if it’s a liability?”
Bob: “Good questions, Norman! Let me know the answers! I’ve got to run now.”
Me: [reply deleted in the interests of good taste]
But department head DWGP, REB and I would have profoundly serious discussions over the results of my efforts on that covering document, and these would not end without agreement – we were breaking new ground and the firm’s reputation was at stake.
Finally…
Bob: “Norman! Draft and send out the account?”
Me: “We’re finished, then!”
Bob: “Where are we all going to celebrate! Book a hotel as we won’t be able to drive home.”
And this is where JHR showed his genius. He sent bunches of flowers with personal notes of thank you to the wives of those involved in organising the job.
Image credits: UK map by Jhamez84; Channel Islands map Hannes2
