But why no Desert Island DVDs?, asks this writer
We’ve all heard of Desert Island Discs and most of us have probably, in an idle moment or when trying hard to concentrate on something really important, fantasised about being invited onto the programme and have made our list of eight favourite records. Devised by Roy Plomley in 1942 and then in effect ‘owned’ by him and subsequently by his widow, Diana Wong, it’s been running off and on for 80 years (there was a break between 1946 and 1951). There have been more than 3,000 shows.
It’s a terrific, winning idea for a radio programme, so why I thought (in one of my own idle moments) has there never been a Desert Island Movies programme on the main TV channels or streaming platforms, where guests play clips from their favourite films? Technological limitations would have made such an idea implausible in years gone by – there’s no power available on the imaginary island and while a wind-up record player is allowed so as to play the vinyls, wind-up film projectors, VHS or DVD players never really caught on. But in the recent past, the existence of super-long-life batteries and solar-powered DVD players make such a show’s premise feasible, so why no Desert Island DVDs?
Part of the answer lies in rights issues. The programme is still owned by the Plomley family and the BBC would also claim an interest, having been the producers of the show since its inception. According to Michael Parkinson, the show’s presenter from 1985 to 1988, ownership rights even gave Diana Wong an input into the choice of who should front DID as well as, it is presumed, on its format and style. How these parties would react to the idea of a TV variation on such a well-loved and respected institution is anyone’s guess, but they may have serious concerns about devaluing the purely musical version.
“This could be an uncomfortable watch and an even more difficult experience for the guests, as they have what can be an intimate therapy session played out in full public view”
The format of the new DIDVD movie show would be quite tricky too. Are guests allowed free rein or should they be limited to say, eight popular genres from which they have to select? Not all films fit neatly into a single category and even the list of genres would be the subject of debate. Access to and obtaining the permission to play some films could also be problematic – play rights affected the DID radio show for years, as one couldn’t hear the show replayed on Listen Again for reasons of music rights ownership. Castaways would, of course, be visible to the camera and, as anyone who has listened to the radio show will testify, a guest’s musical journey is a usually a sound track to their lives and they are often deeply moved as they recall childhood, lost friends and family, career struggles and successes, and life’s other ups and downs. Just as in the Who Do You Think You Are? TV series, there have been tears on DID and filmed, this could be an uncomfortable watch and an even more difficult experience for the guests, as they have what can be an intimate therapy session played out in full public view.
So, having identified the Weaknesses and Threats of this idea and decided it’s not really viable, what is there left to do but trial it? How about the following as the eight film genres from which our hypothetical guest would make their hypothetical choices on this hypothetical show?
Crime, drama. Many film buffs and critics would suggest the following as a shortlist: A Few Good Men, The Godfather, The French Connection, On the Waterfront, The Firm, Taxi Driver, From Here to Eternity, Good Will Hunting, Citizen Kane…
Comedy, satire. Annie Hall; Some Like it Hot; Four Weddings and a Funeral; School of Rock; Fargo; Shrek; Trains, Planes & Automobiles; Dr Strangelove; This is Spinal Tap…
War, adventure, Westerns. The Hurt Locker; Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid; The Wild Bunch; Lawrence of Arabia; The Bridge on the River Kwai; Run Silent, Run Deep; Saving Private Ryan; Raiders of the Lost Ark…
Musical. West Side Story, Singing in the Rain, Cabaret, La La Land, An American in Paris…
Art house, absurdist, surreal. Fellini’s La Dolce Vita, The Seventh Seal, Patha Panchali, Onibaba, Roma (2018), A Special Day (1977), Terry Gilliam’s Brazil...
NB Some films which we regard as art house were actually intended to be pretty mainstream by their makers, but because they were in black and white and in a foreign language, in the UK and USA they became art house!
Romance. Casablanca, Shakespeare in Love, Sleepless in Seattle, Dirty Dancing, Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice…
History, epic. Schindler’s List, Apollo 13, Lincoln, The Age of Innocence, Spartacus, A Man for All Seasons…
Horror, sci-fi and fantasy. The Shining, The Terminator, 2001 A Space Odyssey, Blade Runner, Lord of the Rings (a great choice as is nine hours long – good value on a desert island!), Solaris, It’s a Wonderful Life…
I know what my eight would be: On the Waterfront, Dr Strangelove, Lawrence of Arabia, Cabaret, A Special Day, Casablanca, A Man for All Seasons and Blade Runner (the version without the voice-over). So now you choose: use these genres, ignore them or make your own, but don’t forget, your choices will have to sustain you in isolation, perhaps for years, so they better be good and capable of being watched multiple times.
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As to a book and a luxury, that might be stepping over the rights ownership and IP lines, so I couldn’t possibly say. David Hockney’s 1972 book selection was certainly provocative (although not, apparently, amusing to a disdainful Roy Plomley) – a work of American pornography, reportedly so badly written he found it fascinating. It wouldn’t be my choice!
